Before I became a mother, I was a teacher. As a teacher, I often encountered the problem of teasing and mean behavior at school. Teasing and children saying mean things are inevitable parts of having 20 or 30 sinful, little people together daily. Although, I was blessed to be in a Christian school where these things could be dealt with in the light of Scripture, they were continual problems – with some classes more than others. I often told parents that enduring such things is character building for children and develops interpersonal skills and problem solving. I won’t delve into the topic of how such behaviors should or should not be dealt with at school. What I will say is that “mommy Wendy” needs constant reminding of what “teacher Wendy” knew so well.
Likely you have heard mothers compare themselves to a mother bear. When my children are the object of negative feelings or talk (whether true or untrue) I find myself extremely defensive of them. In fact, my reaction to such things directed at my children is much stronger than to the same type of thing directed at myself. I think for every mother this is the case. That is why the comparison to a mother bear is so accurate. A mother bear fiercely defends her young from every threat, real or perceived.
As adults we are often part of conversations that leave us feeling hurt and defensive on behalf of our children. Often with adults, these conversations are less mean-spirited in nature and more of thoughtless speaking nature. Yesterday, I experienced a conversation like this. Here is what happened:
I had gone to have a therapeutic massage on my injured arm (injured by picking up the sweet big boy we will speak of!). I had never gotten this type of massage before and found that it was a strange combination of painful and very relaxing. The room was dark with quiet music playing and no children in sight. As the therapist pushed on inflamed muscles and I alternately resisted the urges to scream in pain and drool with relaxation the therapist’s questions got the best of her and she began to inquire about the big boy I have at home and why I would need to carry him around. She wasn’t satisfied with the pat answer that I had ready - “He is in a wheelchair.”
She went on to ask me very in depth questions about his physical and cognitive functioning and was clearly shocked and felt that the doctors and therapists must have missed something. Surely in our hour long massage, she could think of a way that we hadn’t thought of to get this boy up and walking! As she thought and questioned, thought and questioned she began to broaden her wonderings to what the future might have in store for my little man. I explained to her that right now his functioning level might be evaluated between 9 and 12 months, with some things far exceeding that and some holes as well. Liam continues to make progress and we hope that he will. We don’t know though. I did tell her that the majority of men and boys living with the syndrome function around a 2 year old level or below. Of course, we hope that Liam will walk independently and far exceed the 2 year old level, but we have to see what God has in store and we value our precious boy no matter what his functioning levels. Upon hearing this, she was flabbergasted and exclaimed “MY GOD, they have parrots that function on a 3 or 4 year old level. That is so sad.”
As I drove alone in the car, I laughed out loud at how people think it is okay to say such thoughtless things. As I have digested this comment over the last 12 hours, what my mind has settled on might surprise you. I have gone over and over the feeling of insult that my son is being compared to an animal and that the animal is somehow better off. But what I am left with is an awareness of something completely different.
You see, that comment was not only insulting to Liam. That comment used my God’s name in vain. I do everything I can to protect my children’s names and reputations, including being angry and offended by well-meant, but mis-spoken comments. When it comes to my Lord and God, the same God who sent his own Son to the cross for my sins, I merely bristle a bit at the misuse of his name. When someone insults my child or thinks badly of him or her, I can walk around bothered for days and weeks about it. But when my God’s name is used to curse, swear, lie or deceive I am momentarily irritated. The name that is above every name… The name at whose sound every knee should bow… This is the name that is signed on the PAID bill for my sins. Paid in full, love Jesus. That majestic name used to swear. That beautiful name paired with the most awful words in the English language. There are even times when I pay $9 to sit for 2 hours and listen to this misuse over and over again in a movie theater!
There are so many wonderful uses for Jesus name, as the hymnwriter points out:
How sweet the Name of Jesus sounds
In a believer’s ear!
It soothes his sorrows, heals his wounds,
And drives away his fear.
It makes the wounded spirit whole,
And calms the troubled breast;
’Tis manna to the hungry soul,
And to the weary, rest.
Dear Name, the Rock on which I build,
My Shield and Hiding Place,
My never failing treasury, filled
With boundless stores of grace
During my teenage years, I often used God’s name without thinking. It became something that fell off of my tongue with no meaning. As I became more intimate in my relationship with God, I realized how majestic and amazing that name truly was. It carries so much meaning and is so important to me that I no longer felt that it was acceptable to use it as a filler in my speech. I wanted to use it in the way that the hymnwriter describes.
Now, as I reflect on the passion with which I guard my children and their names, I also want to guard my God with the same passion. I not only want to guard him with passion, but I want to proclaim his deeds from mountaintops and show my zeal for him in every action. The mom and author, Angie Smith, writes that she wants to “make his name famous” by her life. I feel exactly the same way and I believe that making him famous involves treating his name with more love and respect than I would treat my own children’s.
So as I continue my days here on earth, I do it with the prayer that my devotion to my children will be outdone by my devotion to my Lord. Loving my children is something that God has built into me. It is the easiest (and hardest) love that I have known. It is only with the help of the Holy Spirit that my love for my Lord can be as zealous as that love for my children. My love for my children can turn me into an irrational and crazy momma bear. I pray that through the Holy Spirit, my love for my Lord can be more zealous and crazy than my love for my children! I pray the same for you!
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