Lenten Reflection from the Mom of a Special Child

on Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 8:55am

I have spent the past few weeks pondering a question that has not been asked of me. God did not give me a choice, and I am grateful because I truly think that my answer would not have been God-pleasing. The question: “If God had told me about all of the lives that would be touched, all of the souls led closer to Christ . . . if He would have shared with me the ways that Liam’s life and disabilities would touch others . . . would I have - could I have - said (as Mary did) ‘Let it be to me . . . and my child . . . as you have said’?” Right now, I would have to say that my answer would have been a begging, pleading, crying plea that God would use someone else’s child. From the depths of my heart I would beg for my child to have all of the eternally unimportant (but wonderful) blessings of earthly life: first words (that don’t get lost after saying them for a few weeks), first steps (that lead to walking a few days later), a first day of kindergarten, fights and friendship with his sister, a first best friend, confirmation, graduations, a wedding, a long earthly life . . . and the list goes on and on. On a cognitive level, I know that these things are insignificant and that they can actually LEAD US AWAY from our Savior and the goal of heaven. Yet in my sinful, human heart, they are what I long for in Liam’s life.

Thankfully, God, in His infinite wisdom, did not ask me for my opinion. He made the decision for me. In God’s perfect love, when He formed Liam He allowed a duplicated gene in every cell of his body. Beyond that, God has given me His great grace to be able to see the daily blessings of Liam’s life and our life with him. God creates life, when and how He sees fit. He has the good of His kingdom and the eternal good of each individual in mind at all times. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 Paul writes, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” I try to focus on the things of God and pray daily that I will continue to revel in the great blessings of our earthly life and the wonderful ways that God is using Liam’s special circumstances. So even though the unasked question is irrelevant, pondering it has been productive for me because it makes me think of God’s own Son and what God chose to do through him.

John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him will not perish, but have eternal life.” Out of love for sinful humans, God chose to send His son to earth. Not as a king, but as a small baby. Not born to a rich, powerful family, but to a poor and unmarried virgin. God allowed His son, also TRUE GOD, to be born under the “disability” of being lowly. In 2 Corinthians 8:9 we read, “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.” Jesus’ crown was left behind . . . traded for a manger and swaddling clothes. God chose this for His own son!!! Out of love for us, the all powerful, all knowing, perfect God was born into this sinful world. As a human, he felt hunger, pain, and temptation. He was under the authority of sinful humans: parents, church leaders, and later Pontius Pilate and King Herod. Could any of us choose such a “disability” for our own son? God did it without a backward glance!!!

Since I became a parent, my thinking about God sending Jesus to earth expanded from thankfulness to a sense of jaw-dropping awe. Being the parent of a child with multiple disabilities, I struggle to find words that can encompass such sacrifice. Not only did God allow His perfect son to be born into this sinful world, but Jesus’ earthly life fulfilled the prophecies of old, as we especially remember during the Lenten season. Just like Jesus’ humble beginning on earth, his death was not an easy or pretty thing. God knew that and still He chose this for His Son - to save US!

Some people think of the Lenten season as a time of sadness. It is a time when we remember one of Jesus’ dearest friends betraying him for some money. Another friend repeatedly denied knowing him. He was falsely accused, beaten, mocked, and scourged. Finally, he was hung on a cross to die a death of terrible shame, flanked by criminals. These are certainly terrible and sad sufferings for the innocent Son of God to endure, but thankfully the story did not end there.

Jesus uttered the words “It is finished” and died on Calvary, but his time in the tomb was short. When Sunday morning came, the stone had been rolled away to show only emptiness! The angels shared the happiest news that humanity has ever heard: “He is not here; he has risen”! Because of the great gift given in the manger, the terrible suffering on the cross, and the joyous news of Easter morning, we can join the Heavenly banquet when our earthly life is over.

God had a choice. He has a PERFECT son. His son is TRUE GOD. He could have chosen not to demean His Son in such a way – God taking on the lowly form of a servant. He could have declared that humans were not worth the pain and agony of watching His Son’s submission to earthly trials, temptations, pain, suffering, and finally death. But God loved US so much that He chose to send Jesus FOR US!!! Because of God’s great love for us, we are covered with a robe of righteousness. When God looks at us now, it is Jesus’ perfect and holy life that He sees. Our place in heaven awaits – we can go there, all because God chose to send His Son here.

We may never have the selfless capacity to choose a disability for our own child to further the kingdom of God, but we certainly can be thankful that God chose to have His Son take on weakness. Faith in Jesus, our perfect Savior, undoubtedly brings with it fruits of faith that do make it possible for us to live a JOYful life with our special child. We may even be blessed at times in this life to see the ways that God is using our child (and us) to further His kingdom.

May we approach the rest of this Lenten season as not just a time of sadness, but a time to reflect on the absolute joy of an eternal home waiting for us - a home in God’s presence, free of the great disability of sin. Lord, thank you for your Son, through whom we have the promise of heaven!!!